Andy. He’s on our minds, hearts and in our daily tears. The tears come at unexpected moments. Telling a funny story about Andy and Helen or listening to Sara trying to hide her heartache and get through making arrangements. Listening to Becky worry about Sara and Helen and I can hear her heartache clearly. Becky loved Andy like a father and watching my two friends grieve is terrible. I can’t do anything to help except offer a shoulder and wine 
I’ve had a lot of time to ponder things while sitting in the hospital with Larkin. Thinking of how incredible it is that Andy wanted Larkin’s Place to receive his memorials. Helen told me that she and Andy had discussed it at length a few weeks ago. It truly humbles me that he took time to think of such a thing. But that is who Andy was. Which brings me to my point. How can I talk about a man who is so present - in the past tense. I HATE it. I have to correct myself constantly in conversation because I feel him and think of him as if he is still here. I answer in present tense and I am almost angry that I have to go back and refer to the past.
Andy’s service will be on Friday the 30th. We will say goodbye in the traditional fashion which might make speaking in the past tense easier. It will take time. The old adage “time heals all wounds” is a lie. It’s what you do with the time that helps you heal. Working on Larkin’s Place, knowing that he knew exactly how important this facility is, will give me a constructive outlet for healing. When Larkin’s Place opens it’s doors and Sara, Helen and Becky walk in and see what Andy’s gift has given the community - it will help them heal.
Andy will be with us always. I will get used to saying was instead of is. I won’t like it but it will begin to feel less raw as I expend my energy on a project that he supported and on children he loved. If you want to give in Andy’s Memory you can so by clicking HERE. We will keep him present and grow with his help into the future.